I just love dates where a person stares at their phone for the whole time. Honestly, I try to do something slightly romantic since we’ve just had our one year anniversary- got to keep those romantic flames burning, right?- but all the passion has gone. Or maybe it’s all just being directed at her phone screen, ever since that game came out. You know the one, they’ve been making memes about it for weeks now.
I even surprised her with a voucher, because I know how much Ivy loves her cosmetic tattooing. In Bendigo, the places that do that kind of thing aren’t too numerous. Usually she has to go into Melbourne, and even then she hasn’t really found one place she keeps going back to. But I don’t think that voucher is ever going to get used, because she’s totally hooked on fighting monsters, gathering magical beauty droplets and making her RPG party more beautiful than ever before. Maybe I should’ve gotten her a voucher or something. Then she could’ve purchased the MEGA ULTRA FABULOUS BUNDLE OF RADIANCE, which comes with all these beauty treatments she can give to her characters. That’s the main way they win battles, I think- the monsters in the game won’t attack someone if they’re too beautiful, or at least they won’t go for the face. That’d be marring the perfect visage. So…yeah, I guess I can get that.
I can’t actually see Ivy’s visage, because she’s always buried in her phone. Doesn’t even seem to realise that I’m there, except to excitedly tell me that the boss she just defeated had a voucher for laser hair removal. Uh, great. Remember the voucher I got you for that? No? I guess she’ll get over it, just like all fads. Or I can start playing myself and get my own back. Yeah, I’ll have my OWN laser hair removal, in Bendigo. See what she thinks of that, if she looks up from her phone…
-Thomas