Beauty Tips From Gorgeous Internet People

I LOVE beauty bloggers, vloggers, podcasters and loggers (those are the ones that write really elaborate letters and send then out to a subscription list). I just can’t get enough of this beautiful art. And did you know that beauty therapy predates both agriculture and food preparation? It’s true! I caught that little fact on one of Broella’s fact videos, which he puts up on Fridays. Broella has more subscribers on Me-Straw than anyone else, and he’s a true inspiration. He’s just so authentic, like one of us! He has a dog, he plays guitar and he likes that show about small horses. Sure, he’s also a multi-millionaire from all his endorsements, but we all have to make a living, right?

Oh, and I heard a rumour on the grapevine that Broella himself did a beauty therapy course somewhere in Melbourne. I live in Melbourne! And my uni actually has some kind of beauty course available, even though it’s not super famous, so it might have been here! Just imagine, Broella coming to my university…SWOON! If he’d been in my class I just wouldn’t have been able to concentrate. His eyelashes are so thick and luscious, and as he keeps reminding us, all you have to do to get that look is use Gina’s Super-Fab Eyelash Lotion™ every morning and evening. It hasn’t really done much for me, but I’m sure I’m doing it wrong.

Ugh, I so wish I could do a diploma of beauty therapy…it’s my life, for real. Mum and Dad are making me do something sensible, but there are always gonna be speech therapists. Who needs them, anyway? Speaking is one of the easiest things ever; you can do it from what, like, two years old? Beauty therapy takes time. There’s no course in speaking, but there IS an entire diploma of specialist makeup. What does that tell you? I’ll be a world-famous beauty vlogger one day, you’ll see. And then Broella and I will collab, and hook up behind the scenes, and my life will be complete, squee!!

-Zelda