Infiltrating the Conference Center

convention centreA budding journalist has to take time off sometime, right?

WRONG. The true news reporter never sleeps, which is why I’ve combined my reporting with a bit of rest and relaxation. True, I’m not doing either of those things, but I’m writing this on the beach, under an umbrella, holding an ice-cream and wearing one of those Hawaiian shirts that’s about three sizes too big, so it still counts as a holiday.

But the beach isn’t where I’ll find my big scoop. Lawrence Corp always sends their new employees on a trip to a convention centre near here, and that’s the place I’m planning to infiltrate. True, the trail could very easily go cold, just like it did with the function rooms. Maybe I’ll spend hours working on a character and a disguise, only to spend the weekend doing trust falls and listening to motivational speeches on how to be an employee who cares for my fellow workers. That one is going to have to fall on deaf ears, because I’m not a corporate type; I’m a lone wolf, out here to get my big scoop for me and me alone.

Anyway, it took me long enough just to FIND the convention centre, so long that I already have my character worked out. I’m Boris Gregorov, a Ukrainian immigrant eager to start a new life in corporate Australia. My English skills are still improving, but I’m very excited to be working for Lawrence Corp and getting to know some Australian friends on this company retreat. My European accents are pretty good; I just have to practice tonight.

Crikey, with how long it took me scouring regional Victoria, conference venues turning my requests down at every turn, you’d hope this will turn up something. I’ve definitely found the place, however. The weird goings on at Lawrence Corp will be unveiled, by me.

Did I mention Boris likes cats? He’s just an animal person in general, actually.