I love my job. Every day I get on the train and head into the Melbourne CBD, where I get to spend ten minutes taking an elevator to the 617th floor of a building nobody knows about because it’s invisible. There I get to work on the best video game nobody has ever played, and yet at the same time, everyone is always playing it.
That’s right, I’m working on the video game of Life. You’re playing it right now and so am I. I get to control the actions of a million people, choosing how their day will play out and what they will do. Maybe I’m controlling you right now. Twenty-five of us work on the Australian server, but there are a lot more servers across the globe. We’re just a small part of the international player-base.
I know it sounds crazy, almost like something out of the Matrices movies, but give it some serious thought. Have you ever done something like go to get an auto service, but as soon as you get there you forget what was wrong with your car? That’s because the action has been cancelled by the player. Now there’s no need to be afraid. We take good care of you guys. When was the last time anything seriously bad happened in Australia? The American servers, on the other hand, have some serious issues. I’m glad I wasn’t assigned to work over there. I know Australia isn’t perfect, but it’s a breeze to run in comparison.
My favourite character to control is Premier Norris. The other day I made him go to a Milperra auto mechanic and ask to buy some dice for his Grottos and Goblins roleplaying game! They don’t sell dice at a mechanic’s workshop, so he left feeling like a bit of a moron. The character is such a loose cannon, but he gets results. Those results happen to be making everyone in Victoria angry, but that’s exactly what I want. Chaos is much more fun than making people go about their day normally. I just don’t want too much chaos, because that would be hard to deal with.