Where’s the Tinter?

Can anybody tell me where I can get good window tinting around Melbourne? I’ve searched everywhere and I can’t find anybody who knows where I could find this service. See, I used to know where I could get tinting. I know I did, because the windows of my old house are tinted, and I specifically remember having that done. But that was years ago, and I haven’t needed any tinting since then, so I can’t remember who I got to do it, or where I found them.

In my search for a window tinter (is that what they are even called?), I first went to my boss. The windows of our office are tinted, so surely he would know. But then, as I walked into the building, I realised that the windows weren’t tinted at all. No, all we had was a thin layer of black cellophane, which simply made it appear tinted. Mr Krane is such a cheapskate that he wouldn’t even pay for real commercial window tinting! So, I figured that there was no real point in asking him about window tinting. 

Next, I tried going to my scientific friend, Sandra. I really thought she could help me out, but no, all she did was give me a long scientific explanation as to how window tinting works. I didn’t even think it was that complicated before. She really overwhelmed me, though, so I had to get out of there. My best friend Pat wasn’t any help, either, since he doesn’t have a job and practically lives under a rock. Desperate, I started asking random people around town, only for nobody to have the information I was seeking.

Frustrated, I looked up at the sky and shouted, “Doesn’t anybody know where I can get office tinting around the Melbourne CBD!” Immediately, thunder struck and a ghostly figure descended from the clouds.

This ghost guy started telling me about how he used to love tinting windows in his life. He showed me all of the cars he had worked on before he tragically passed away. When I managed to get a word in, I asked if he could use his ghostly magic to tint my house. He laughed and said that he only knows how to tint car windows.

So, I guess I’m doomed to never have my house windows tinted.

– Sergei