Psychic Glazing

How hard could it be to install a glass balustrade? I’ve played a glazier in three films, or maybe it was four, and it seems pretty simple. Admittedly the only movie where I actually had any scenes working as a glazier was Psychic Glazing, about a Melbourne glazier who realises he has telekinesis. So, my actual experience with balustrade installation is limited to doing it via magical mind powers similar to the push from Space Battles. I’ve just got to tap into my inner ESP somehow. Maybe if I concentrate really hard on it?

Hmm, I don’t think that’s going to work. Come on Jack, what do you know about glass replacement? There’s an old saying about it, isn’t there? If the glass ain’t broke don’t fix it? Where there’s smoke there’s glass? No, that’s not right. Huh, this is turning out to be a real problem. I guess I’ll just have to use my obscene amounts of cash to hire professional glaziers to do this for me. Is it in the spirit of the competition? No, not at all. Is it strictly against the rules? Yes, yes it is. Is it a bad idea to admit that I’m going to cheat on the Next Top Model blog series? Also yes, but I won’t let that stop me.

I mean, they didn’t seriously expect me, Jack Zebraman, to install a balustrade on my own, did they? In case they didn’t know, I am very famous. Famous people are notoriously lazy. I’m certainly no exception. I’ll admit that. There are, perhaps, some things in my life that I should work on. Maybe one of them is not getting other people to do my glass balustrades fittings. Melbourne makes it so easy to do that, but I suppose refraining is possible. But I can’t do this on my own! I’ve been conditioned by years in the film and television industry to get things for free with minimal effort on my part. You could say it’s my right to cheat in this challenge.

Well, I’m glad that’s sorted. Now I can keep watching East Planet instead of doing the work. That’s a relief!